A Tribute To All The Ladies

Girls are very fickle creatures. This blog may well serve as a warning to all of the gents, and as a truth to all of the lasses. Girls expect men to know everything…but the truth is we are ignorant brutes who do nothing but grunt all day and bang our clubs on the rock wall. Not literally, but you get the picture. Guys are clueless when it comes to girls. I’m sure that at this point in the blog the males are thinking either, "This guy is rubbish, I know everything when it comes to girls," while others yet are thinking, "Hmm…this could be useful." Females at this point are probably thinking, "This will be entertaining," or a myriad of other things simply because females are complicated. Whichever the case may be for you, here are a few things I have learned in my limited time wading into the vastly bemusing world of women.
First thing about girls is that they are very observatory, even though you would not think that is the case. They are very good at not being noticed, noticing what is going on around them and I feel that they use this hidden talent to give them the upper hand when dealing with us simpletons. In less than a minute they will have fully scrutinized you and the situation surrounding them without you even having a clue. They will take in what clothes you are wearing, how tall you are, your posture, your shoes, your smile, your voice, how you smell, whether you seem to be neat and tidy or messy, how tan you are, your build, what they think your personality is like, and basically everything that can be seen by the naked eye (or not). Girls often scoff at people who are judgmental, which can be seen as the ultimate form of hypocrisy because by nature girls are very judgmental themselves!
Girls hold grudges. This is a well known fact but it is all too true. Everything may seem perfectly fine, but during the first argument you have with them, you will know everything you have done wrong for the past 5 years (or however long you have been dating them). This could also be seen as a tactic, as it will most likely confuse you once again, throw you off so to speak, lessen your manly being and power to know you are right and somehow be lured into thinking that they may actually be right and you are an insensitive being. You’ll be thinking about when this occurred or when you said that and when you finally remember (or just give up), you’ll wake up to the fact that you are now being accused of not being serious.
Girls are very, very emotional beings. You can almost picture a girl as being a bundle of emotions wrapped up in a human body. Anything you say can push the wrong button and immediately send a torrent of emotions flooding through them. Immediately they might become angry, striking fear into you while you are sitting there wondering what you could have possibly done wrong. While you are being barraged by insults and comments that you have never even heard before, you will continue wondering what you did, and then get in even more trouble for not listening to their berating! On the flipside, when a girl is crying you could say just the right thing with the right action and she could be laughing within seconds.
Girls seem to be very possessive. You can picture them as if they are a little kid who gets that new toy, or as if they are a bird who finds that shiny object. Once it, whatever it may be, is theirs, they will hold onto it like Scrat holds onto his acorn in Ice Age. It is almost as if they are an animal who has marked their territory, and the slightest breach of that territory means all out war. Nukes, hydrogen bombs…nothing is left out of the arsenal. Quite a fearsome site to behold.
Girls have a comfort zone. When a girl truly becomes comfortable with you, she will be totally different. You will finally see her true humor, how she really eats, and understand how she really feels at this time. It may be shocking at first, but you will get used to it. Don’t be alarmed. This is normal with girls.
This is just a peek into the confusing world of girls. They will never fully make sense to males, but all we can do is try and aspire to understand them as well as anyone can. With girls it is trial and error. You will know when you did something right and you will most certainly know when you did something wrong, but that is the nature of things and what makes the world go round!